“Saying no”

‘Saying no’ involves mindfulness and absolute willpower (prioritising recovery). If you smoke, consume sugary foods and drinks, drink too much alcohol, or watch TV shows that are only moderately interesting, you should try to break one bad habit at a time gradually. Attempting to change multiple habits simultaneously is often ineffective.

The author has not yet successfully eliminated sugar and fructose from the diet. However, it would also be feasible to be a vegan. Fruit juices would have to be avoided, except for a glass of blueberry or grape juice from time to time. Unprocessed fruit or a non-alcoholic wine would be preferable on occasion.

From chain smoker to non-smoker. Away from fast food, alcohol and too much sugar.

In everyday life, we are often unaware of which habits harm our health or prevent us from achieving personal goals. Writing down and thus ‘visualising’ habits that should be discontinued – habits that we should say ‘no’ to – is a good way to support change processes.

Under the menu item Tools, this blog provides some templates of the change charts for download. (PowerPoint files)

Saying ‘No’ thanks to mindfulness

Mindfulness meditation is not necessary. However, reflecting daily on smoking, nutrition, entertainment, etc, would be helpful.

As we discussed, a meditation or stress management app could be beneficial. The exercises should be described and presented in an easy-to-understand language, such as English. The meditation series ‘Coping with cravings’ is recommended. (Headspace is also primarily available in German).

Saying ‘no’ works best when bad habits are replaced with good ones. Again, it's a matter of writing down what you would do instead of the bad habit when you're in the mood for it. Instead of a chocolate drink, for example, you could meditate for three minutes with an App. Your favourite crisps could be replaced with unroasted nuts. They can be lightly salted at the beginning to make the process easier.

A good strategy is to jog or run for a quarter of an hour first thing in the morning. This is another step towards a long-term increase in your energy levels. Repeating this in the evening would be a good idea to ‘air out’ your mind and organise your thoughts. Fresh air is a valuable contribution to ‘sleep hygiene’.

To improve your foreign language skills, try translating various action words into the chosen language during the day. This is a fun way to continue your training. Efficiency can be increased by routinely jotting down a few critical points about upcoming work or tasks briefly early in the morning. ‘Micro-habits’ help you avoid bad habits because you are on a harmonious path towards your goal.

Napoleon Hill, the author, says that visions and goals are difficult to achieve without a burning desire. So if you remind yourself of your reasons for improvement every day and get to know the ‘after’ life step by step, you will be happy to say ‘no’ with conviction. A realistic daily plan is essential here. If the three most important tasks have not yet been completed, it is crucial to say ‘no’ to the entertainment programme until the most important things have been taken care of.

Developing a good relationship with the word ‘no’ is not complicated. Saying ‘no’ is rarely selfish. Your immediate environment also benefits when you achieve your goals. You'll often be met with understanding when you don't say ‘yes’ to everything. Sometimes you can even motivate ‘yes-men’ to rethink.

Say ‘no’ to:

• TV shows

• All drinks except water and tea

• Sweets

• Crisps and pre-packaged snacks

• Meetings that don't necessarily require your presence

• YouTube, at least for pure entertainment

• Parties lasting into the early hours of the morning (sleep hygiene)

• Long phone calls (be brief, postpone essential conversations with friends in stressful situations)

• Avoid using the phone altogether from time to time, or set up phone-free work blocks

• Shopping

• Newsletters except for personal specialist area

• Entertainment blogs

• Unnecessary spending

• Ruminating (outdoor exercise and writing down your thoughts can help)

• Tolerating standards that negatively affect your own

Say no when you think no!